That in addition to making soap, lotion, scrubs, and anything else that can be smeared on one's body, I'm also a scrapbooking fanatic! I started six years ago when my daughter was born. It was my therapy: I relaxed while scrapping, and I also "processed" the events in my life. I was able to think about what really mattered to me and the kind of family I wanted to create. Plus, I loved all the cute little trinkets I could glue on my pages! :)
I've realized that I haven't taken the time to work on my scrapbooks since the early part of this year. I have had a lot on my mind: changing careers, a new baby, my in-laws moving to the area, my daughter starting public school, and now we'll be planning a move right around Christmas time. But, I have decided to get back into scrapping. It's something that I really enjoy, and I miss it when I'm not doing it. It's one of the things I do just for me.
What about you? What are the things you do just for yourself, and are you doing them now? I watched Oprah a couple of days ago, and the author of Eat, Pray, Love was on. She was talking about how she had lived her life ambivalent about many of the decisions she made. She had forgotten who she really was, and how to really enjoy her life. I have been there. Although I have been "sure" about all of my decisions, not all of my decisions have been in my best interests, and I have certainly not considered what I really, really, really wanted. Now, I do try to keep my desires fully center in my life: living my true passion, raising awesome kids who love others and themselves, and actually having a relationship with my husband (after all, I married him because he was my best friend!).
I have learned after many years of doing what was "right" that life is meant to be lived. Life is meant to be creative, dynamic, and amazing. Life is meant to be full of love--not the shallow "at first sight" love--but the deep kind of love that allows us to accept ourselves, our children, our families, and our--gasp--spouses, just as we (they) are. I'm learning that this is the deepest, most challenging, love. And it's also the most fulfilling.
Start by loving yourself just as you are. Don't notice your appearance, your shortcomings, your disappointments. It doesn't matter, because you are perfect just as you are. So, what are you going to do today to let yourself know that you love you? Once you learn to accept yourself, you'll know how to accept others and offer them the grace you have granted yourself. It's not selfish to love yourself because loving yourself is the most challenging task you can take on. It teaches you how to love the unlovable because no one knows better than you how "unlovable" you can be at times.
I challenge you to try it. Think about this: what would it mean to your husband if he no longer had to validate you and make you feel loved, attractive, and important? What would it mean to your children if they did not have to perform in a certain way to please you? What if no one had to do anything to convince you that you are a great wife, a wonderful mother, a good daughter...because you already knew you were these things? Let me tell you, taking this pressure off your loved ones is the most loving thing you can ever do for them. And how will you do it? You will have to meet your own need for validation, love, and security. You're back where you started: loving yourself.
Try it and just see if you don't change your life. I'd love to hear about your experiences. Email me or post your comments below.
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